phrozen5100's Reviews

phrozen5100

phrozen5100's Reviews

phrozen5100's Reviews

Product/Brand

7 of 15 people found the following review helpful
MuscleTech Anabolic Halo (Muscle & Strength)

Sunday, 09 November 2008


Overall rating		3.1
Physical energy		3
Taste		5
Mixes well		3
Value for money		2

Once upon a time, the dinosaurs lived in harmony with primates. There existed no struggles for power, no economic crises, no bans on drugs and supplements and not even any bans on assault weapons. One day, a young monkey dubbed George stumbled upon what would one day become the Muscletech laboratory. Curiosity got the best of George...

Physical Energy - It's loaded with creatine mono and dextrose - and it actually helps endurance! Wow, who would've expected that one? Nothing terribly special here.

Taste - This smells a little bad and a little odd at the same time. Fortunately, it just tastes fantastic. OK, so it's not so much the taste itself that strikes me as special. The taste is good, but it's just what you'd expect from a dextrose loaded creatine drink. The aftertaste, though, is very unique. Contrary to popular belief, this does NOT get ice cold when you mix it. However, after consuming this, it seems to open up the nasal cavity quite a bit, and it really helps you breathe. I never would have expected this.

Ease of Mixing - It takes quite a few stirs, but as long as you keep stirring, it does dissolve.

Value - It's pretty expensive, but just look at all the ingredients you get! (That's e-sarcasm folks). Really, the ergogenic effects aren't much of any different from any other dextrose loaded creatine. It only gets a 1.5 here because of the fantastic nasal clearing effect.

Overall, this isn't really worth it. If for some reason you have a permanently stuffed nose, then this might actually have some value to you. If you want a good creatine, try out Storm or Green Magnitude. If you want a cheap version of this, just get some dextrose and bulk creatine mono. Mind you, if you make the cheap version it won't be cryogenically forged and it'll be missing around 80 ingredients.

George consumed all but one tub of Anabolic Halo, immediately throwing him into an anabolic rage. He quickly grew beyond King Kong proportions as he consumed primate and dinosaur alike. Finally, there came a point where George's body could no longer keep pace with his growth, and George exploded, shattering the continent into pieces and destroying all wildlife. Thus, this this how the dinosaurs really became extinct.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
BSN Lean Dessert (Meal Replacement & Protein)

Wednesday, 29 October 2008


Overall rating		3.7
Taste		4
Mixes well		5
Value for money		3

I had my clubbin' shoes on the night I met her. A smokin' 5'6" hottie, without the typical smoker breath. After the main course of "drunk grinder", Bunny said to me, "how 'bout we go back to your place for some dessert?" Sounded like a plan to me...

Taste - I've had Banana Nut Bread and only Banana Nut Bread. It tastes quite good. It tastes surprisingly natural and does well in baking applications. It's not quite the gourmet protein everybody makes it out to be, but whatever.

Mixability - A strong point for this protein. Whether it's milk or water, Lean Dessert has no trouble meshing molecules at all.

Value - OK, so the price per serving isn't bad. The protein per serving, though? Not so great. So, in terms of #g protein/serving, this doesn't do so well. Whatever. With a name like Lean Dessert, it's obviously not meant to be used all the time.

Overall, this isn't too bad for a refreshing break from the usual protein flavors. It's not spectacular, but it is pleasant and different.

For some reason Bunny didn't seem quite as thrilled as me about the Lean Dessert. After I'd sobered up, I'd realized - I knew my Lean Dessert better than Bunny. My Lean Dessert never came with colonies of crabs, and it actually tasted pretty darn good too.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Controlled Labs Green MAGnitude (Muscle & Strength)

Wednesday, 08 October 2008


Overall rating		4.0
Physical energy		3
Low side effects		5
Taste		4
Mixes well		5
Value for money		5

As a young boy, I always made a list for Santa Clause. That jolly old guy managed to give me all the guns, hookers and fast cars that I demanded, but he could never seem to get me that sour green apple creatine that I always wanted. Fast forward to today: unfortunately, Santa kicked the bucket due to a plethora of sexually transmitted diseases, but Controlled Labs is now making that sour green apple creatine I've always wanted.

Physical Energy - This is really more like endurance than "energy". This did a decent job for me of increasing endurance. It's nothing mind blowing at all, but it does allow for more consistent reps during a workout.

Low Side Effects - This uses Dicreatine Malate and Magnesium Creatine Chelate as its sources of creatine. Admittedly, I don't have the chemistry know-how to draw these compounds on paper, but I do know one thing - they don't make me retain water like creatine monohydrate. A little less bloat in the mirror works for me.

Taste - I've tried both Sour Green Apple and Electric Lemonade. Both flavors taste quite good. They do get a little old after a while, but what calorie free flavored creatine doesn't?

Mixes Well - It really does. I haven't tried it in milk, but I'd bet there are few that would be so adventurous as to try that.

Value - This is a fantastic value in the world of creatines. It can be taken every other day after the first week or two, and it will maintain its effectiveness. The only competition in this price range is probably Universal's Storm

Overall, this is a great product for the price. It has it all really...unless you're just not into apple or lemonade flavors.

Oh Santa, you old fool. If only you could see me now, cruising down the highway in my M5, with a hooker up front and one in the trunk - sipping on my Green Mag...

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Ergopharm Clearshot (Energy)

Friday, 19 September 2008


Overall rating		4.4
Focus		5
Alertness		5
Mental energy		5
Strength		4
Taste		5
Value for money		4

So I says to my psychologist, "Hey doc, I have a problem. Every single time I'm about ready to get it on with a beautiful model, I get this odd hankering for vodka, warm apple cider and speed. You have any meds for this?" He says to me, "kid, you're not my patient and you're only 12, so I'm not going to be giving you any drugs, but I can recommend something to you..."

Focus - In my line of work, it's important that I can think clearly. With just 1/2 a bottle of this, I can focus on drawing lines in 3D like a Catholic priest on a schoolboy.

Alertness - Sometimes doing analyses over and over again gets old. It makes a guy want to nod off and drool on the keyboard (so that it shorts out and he can get a new one). This stuff allows one to perform the most mundane of work with the tenacity of a teenage guy working over his cougar of a teacher.

Mental Energy - With a mere 1/2 bottle of Clearshot, I'm given the mental energy to make papers burst out of this plastic apparatus...with black pixels inscribed upon them. I can even make them burst out of there with colored pixels. Super hero-like mental energy? I think so.

Strength - I just finished working out about 56 minutes ago. While I can't attribute my strength fully to this, I don't think the jump was coincidental. I went from 7 @ 70 for seated overhead DB press to 8 @ 75. 50mg of H-Drol preworkout may have played a small role as well.

Taste - Holy Moses, this tastes outstanding in Apple Cider! A hint of cinnamon/apple with a warm feeling to it. It burns the throat much like an alcoholic drink, but in a good way. I'd highly recommend this to Jagerbomb lovers. Not too sure what I'd mix it with, but it could definitely make one strong/delicious drink.

Value - How could I give this a 4.0? It's simple. Despite it's high price, the stuff works. I can pay for more a four pack of Redbulls and get nothing.

Overall, this is the best darn energy drink I've used. Expensive, yes, but very effective and absolutely delicious! If you're feeling rich, go buy a 12 pack - now! If you're spending money on natural t-boosters, stop it. Get some cheap and effective M-Drol instead, and use the money you save on this.

Now that I've found an all-in-one product for satisfying my cravings, I can have my way with beautiful models like usual. Ah yes, life is good, thanks Ergopharm.

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful
BodyTech Ultimate Man LiquiTherm (Weight & Fat Loss)

Tuesday, 16 September 2008


Overall rating		1.8
Fat loss		1
Physical energy		2
Value for money		3

I'm incredibly fat and unattractive. Up until this point, I'd just denied it. My friends and family always told me, "Phrozen, listen son. See those whales over there? No, the morbidly obese women you idiot. You really shouldn't be mean to them like I am, because you'll be lucky if your fat ugly self can ever get with one." It wasn't until I took Liquitherm that I realized just how right my dad was in this moment.

Fat Loss - BodyTech made big promises to me. Promises of not just 72 virgins, but 72 virgins, eight cougars, and five former porn stars. Well let me tell you something, I didn't get any of the above, and I didn't even lose any fat! Before you get in on me about the pizza I ate every morning for breakfast, let me tell you that my diet was quite solid. I actually ran the Velocity Diet for three weeks while using this (I admit, I failed to make the fourth week). I did lose weight, but not necessarily because of this.

Physical Energy - My physical energy sucked while on this. Admittedly, my tolerance to stims is extremely high and my diet had a great deal to do with it, but it was bad nevertheless.

Value - Eh, if it actually did anything it would just be average. I only purchased it because a great sale. In all honesty, I don't think any standard stimulant based thermogenic such as this would do anything for me.

Overall, it looks like I'm no better off than I was before taking this supplement. My rolls make Dunkin' Donuts look like mere child's play. My cheeks resemble a rotting pumpkin, with breath to match the scent. My...well, you get the point. This stuff really doesn't seem to do much of anything.

Oh if only I'd known better than to make fun of those BBW. Fortunately, Blizzard developed World of Warcraft just for guys like me. All the MySpace BBW love my level 60 Paladin, they really do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some goblins to crush with my massive e-sixpack.

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